Hello looking for a girl friend

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Strong, healthy, independent people can find themselves in the white-knuckled grip of a toxic relationship. Relationships evolve. They change and they grow. Sometimes they crash and they burn. You can keep that one. Wanna get some tequila baby? We love love. Of course we do. Love sends us to joyous, lofty heights that we never want to come down from, but the same heart that can send us into a loved-up euphoria can trip us up and have us falling into something more toxic.

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The hot pursuit of love can be blinding. A toxic relationship contaminates your self-esteem, your happiness and the way you see yourself and the world. Relationships can start healthy, but bad feelings, bad history, or long-term unmet needs can fester, polluting the relationship and changing the people in it. It can happen easily and quickly, and it can happen to the strongest people. In a toxic relationship there will always be fallout:.

Perhaps they were never really there in the first place, or not in the way you needed them to be anyway. Even worse, if your relationship is toxic, you will be more and more damaged by staying in it. Fighting to hold on to something that is not fighting to hold on to you will ruin you. Sometimes the only thing left to do is to let go with grace and love and move on. Being aware that the relationship is toxic is vital in protecting yourself from breakage.

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To stay in a toxic relationship is to keep your hand hovering over the self-destruct button. Toxic behaviour exists on a spectrum.

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A toxic relationship is defined by the consistency, the intensity and the damage. Here are some of the s. You fall asleep hollow and you wake up just as bad. You look at other couples doing their happy couple thing and you feel the sting. It can, but first you have to clear the path for it to find you. Leaving a relationship is never easy, but staying for too long in a toxic relationship will make sure any strength, courage and confidence in you are eroded down to nothing.

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Sometimes you can see it coming. Questions become traps. The only thing you really are is too good to be treated like this. We all have important needs in relationships. Some of the big ones are connection, validation, appreciation, love, sex, affection. When those needs are mocked or ignored, the emptiness of that unmet need will clamour like an old church bell.

Doing things separately sometimes is healthy, but as with all healthy things, too much is too much. When there is no effort to love you, spend time with you, share the things that are important to you, the relationship stops giving and starts taking too much.

Nobody can hold a relationship together when they are the only one doing the work. Let go of the fantasy that you can make things better if you try hard enough, work hard enough, say enough, do enough. Just stop. You always have been. Healthy relationships need compromise but they also respect the needs and wants of both people. Problem solved. One of the glorious things about being human is that making mistakes is all part of what we do.

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Even the most loving, committed partners will do hurtful, stupid things sometimes. At some point, there has to be a decision to move on or move out.

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Having shots continually fired at you based on history is a way to control, shame and manipulate. Healthy relationships nurture your strengths. Toxic ones focus on your weaknesses. You and your partner are a team. In healthy relationships, when the world starts throwing stones, the couple comes together and fortifies the wall around each other.

Toxic relationships often see one person going it alone when it comes to public put-downs. Similarly, when attempts are made from outside the relationship to divide and conquer, the couple is divided and conquered as easily as if they were never together in the first place. Passive-aggressive behaviour is an indirect attack and a cowardly move for control. The toxicity lies in stealing your capacity to respond and for issues to be dealt with directly.

Every relationship will have its issues. In a toxic relationship, nothing gets worked through because any conflict ends in an argument. There is no trust that the other person will have the capacity to deal with the issue in a way that is safe and preserves the connection. When this happens, needs get buried, and in a relationship, unmet needs Hello looking for a girl friend always feed resentment. In a healthy relationship, both people need their turn at being the supported and the supporter. Next Saturday I get to choose what we do.

If your partner constantly goes through your receipts, phone bills, text messages this shows a toxic level of control. Lying and cheating will dissolve trust as if it was never there to begin with. The toxicity of this lies in the slow erosion of confidence. Know when enough is enough. Your voice is an important one. See here for how. Be clear about where the relationship starts and where you begin. Keep your distance emotionally and think of it as something to be managed, rather than something to be beaten or understood.

Look for the patterns and look for the triggers. Above all else, know that you are strong, complete and vital. There are plenty of reasons you might end up in a toxic relationship, none of which have nothing to do with strength of character or courage. In an attempt to make it make sense, you might blame history, circumstance or your own behaviour.

The truth is that none of this matters. Love can be a dirty little liar sometimes. So can commitment. Staying in a relationship should never have losing yourself as one of the conditions. If a relationship is built on love, it nurtures, restores, replenishes and revives. Everything you need to be happy is in you. When you are with someone who suffocates those precious parts of you, be alive to the damage they are doing.

You owe them nothing, you owe yourself everything. You deserve to thrive and to feel safe, and you deserve to be happy.

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I am dating a man for the past 1 year. And he loves me dearly. I failed to be honest in this relationship and it took me some months to disclose my secrets, my past relationship to him. He probed into me and i ended up telling him the truth.

It took me months to confess him all the truth of my life. I told him i dated men and was into a relationship with another man for 5 years. He feels being cheated. But i told him i have changed completely and have nothing to do with them. He confronts saying that they are around me, they slept with my woman i cant accept this. Where he fails to understand that it was my past.

He makes me feel miserable and says i want you to repenti want my happiness back. I really dont understand what to do. One thing i am sure of he loves me very much and if i walk away from him he will die. Self orientated,possessive,insecure,pathetic little man. I have been dating a guy for 3 years this December. We have nothing financially together, he sends all of his money except what he uses to pay his portion of bills, to Mexico. He is super cheap and I mean super cheap. He started randomly disappearing on the weekends earlier this year.

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He would turn his phone off or would ignore my calls. And not come home for two days. He has all kinds of excuses under the sun. This year we have had sex a total of 6 times maybe less. He had every excuse under the sun. I have left him twice and both times has begged me to take him back. He says he loves me, I dont know why I stay with him. He gives me nothing. My girlfriend cheated on me again after our 6th year of relationship. But now, I made my decision of calling it quits because I realized that she can do it over and over again after promising me everything, like what she did on the first time she cheated.

And I want to escape badly because you will feel the suffocation and realized that your relationship is already toxic. You cannot be at your best and will lack motivation because of the anxiety you feel. We cannot rely our happiness to a person who is really not the right one for us.

All of those emotions your dealing with you need to find the proper outlet. Whether you choose to be with her or move on you need help!!! You need to leave. Do not tolerate this. A woman who has an affair does not love you, no matter what she says after it. Yes, she is sorry she got caught. Yes, she is guilty duh! So what? Granted, Hello looking for a girl friend is devastating to you to feel all of what you are feeling been there, done that. But no amount of bargaining with her or ruminating over the situation will ever change what she did and your subsequent feelings about her.

This event is chiseled in stone. Any honest person will tell you the same. You are exactly right.

Hello looking for a girl friend

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